“Waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting one’s heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one’s thoughts.” –Elisabeth Elliot
I love this quote. Regardless of what season of waiting I’m in, I have always found comfort knowing that my uncertainties and unanswered questions are all part of the process of waiting on God. In fact, these uncertainties and questions are actual requirements for waiting on God. Part of the waiting process is hashing through the unknowns and being reminded that “the unknowns” are not unknown to the all-knowing. Waiting on God is hard but waiting on God is worth it.
Our adoption journey is teaching me anew how to wait on God’s timing instead of relying on myself to take action. Often I find myself moving in a direction and informing God that he needs to move with me. I assume that if I don’t act then God won’t know that he needs to act on my behalf. Adoption is teaching me how to move with God not ahead of him.
Recently the Passion band came out with a song The Lord our God. I love every lyric, but my favorite part is the bridge. It’s my anthem right now in this season of waiting. The bridge states, “We won’t move without you. We won’t move without you. You’re the light of all and all that we need.”
I love the posture that this song promotes that we (your people) will not take a step without you (our God) directing us! I love this principle of waiting that we must not move without God leading us!
God has used the adoption process to remind me of this principle. Recently, we had the opportunity to be presented to several birth moms. When you’re presented, a BM reads your profile book and family information and decides if they are interested in you as the adoptive parents. If interested further talks ensue. It’s been very exciting to have the opportunity to present and challenging as well.
The challenging part for me has been the sense of urgency I’ve felt to move quickly on every situation instead of waiting on God. A few weeks ago, I found myself calling Stu at least daily saying, “What about this situation?” or “Do you want to be shown to this birth mother?” Stu would say, “Let’s talk about it when you get home”. Being the ever-patient person that I am, ☺ I panicked every time thinking, “how can we wait 3 hours to discuss this? What if we miss a God-ordained opportunity? What if this is the last baby they every show us? What if this is the best situation out there?”
There is such a sense of urgency to respond immediately to every situation and panic can take over quickly but when it does I’m learning to do two things:
1.) Thank God for giving me Stuart who not only deals with my action-oriented personality, but also constantly reminds me of God’s plan in all this.
2.) Resolve to not move unless God does. I’m learning to position myself behind him instead of running ahead. As I remain in this posture, I find myself not moving without him. This is the best place to be in the waiting.
I’m learning to wait. I’m learning to rest. I’m learning NOT to move without him.