The Espy's adoption journey.

Monthly Archives: October 2013

We are matched and just like that our lives are changed forever!
I have waited about a week to put words around our recent match because I honestly was too in awe of God to even begin writing. I think I can finally put some words around it all so here goes.

About 5 years ago, my friend Joy Phenix invited me to be a part of a group of women she hosted monthly at her home. Joy is incredible at hospitality and so a warm meal and time with Joy was always a quick yes! This group was a combination of a bunch of women I had never met…one of which was a woman named Kristen. Kristen and I became friends through our time together over dinner and chats at the Phenix home. I invited her to join the production team at Buckhead Church and she did. Kristen got involved in our church and met her husband, John, as well during this season. John and Kristen ended up moving away and so we lost contact outside of FB.

A few months ago, I was having lunch with Joy at our spot, Nordstroms Cafe…duh! I was sharing with her about the adoption and she asked if I had spoken with Kristen since she was adopting as well. I had not known Kristen was adopting so immediately after our lunch, I got on FB and messaged Kristen. We talked on the phone that night and discovered that we were both using the same agency. Wow!

After that night, Kristen and I remained in close contact. We would text or call weekly and sometimes daily. September rolled around and Kristen was headed to adopt her baby girl. I was able to be on a prayer list for her and pray throughout the hours of the night, she would text me while in the hospital with her BM, she would share what she was feeling, thinking, etc. It was such a gift to know what I too could expect having lived through this adoption through her. Kristen and John have an amazing relationship with their BM. They went out for an ultrasound a few months prior, Kristen was in the delivery room with her BM and they continue to send pictures/text even now. It was a very special relationship they formed.

So after the BM signed the papers, Kristen and John were waiting on ICPC clearance to leave the state. One night, she texted me asking how I was doing. I told her I was a little discouraged explaining that we had put our name in for a situation that was dragging almost to the one-month mark with no word from the BM and I felt like this adoption would never happen.
Kristen said, “Well, can I encourage you with something?” She proceeded to tell me that her BM has a daughter who is pregnant with a baby boy due in February. Kristen had just found out the day before and instantly thought of Stu and I. I was in shock listening to her describe this precious teenager girl who was placing her son up for adoption. I told her that Stu and I should talk and I would be back in touch.

Here’s a few things that Kristen shared during that convo about this sweet BM: She wanted to have the same kind of adoption that Kristen had just gone through with her mom…(including us in the ultrasounds and hospital room during birth), she said she wants to name the child Andrew which was really special because my grandfather, who passed last Thanksgiving, was named Andrew and was a true hero of mine. Plus, she is having this child in Oregon, which is where my grandfather was born, making this story even more special.

I proceed to share this with Stu and almost instantly he says, “This is it…we need to put our names in.” Now, to know me is to know that I’m impulsive. I shoot and then aim. Stu is exactly opposite. He is a processor and throughout this whole adoption he has been the slow one in making decisions. That’s why his decisions are usually right and thought through and mine are typically followed by an apology. When Stu had a peace about it, I knew this was it. We had prayed so diligently that God would give us like-mindedness and for the first time in MONTHS, He did!

Through the course of several days, phone calls, text, etc…we put our name out there for this BM. About a week later, we got the call from the agencies saying we had been chosen! We were blown away!

God is so creative. His plan is always worth waiting for. I’m so grateful for every situation we said “no” to because waiting on a situation we both wanted and prayed for was completely worth it. God has not only surprised me by the way he wrote this story but has re-instated a sense of awe in me as I watch his plan unfold. Only he knew that 5 years ago, a dinner at Joy’s house would change our lives forever.
Last week, we had our first conversation with our BM. I have been texting her almost every day since and she really is a gift. I love her sweet heart and her courage to make this decision. We are planning to fly out for an ultrasound at sometime point in November, which will be so special. We are just overwhelmed by God’s goodness.

Here are some of my parting thoughts:
• I want to thank all of you who have been belief on our behalf. Sometimes when personal circumstances are too hard, it becomes difficult to believe for yourself. It’s as if you know God is real but you wonder if He’s good. So many of you have believed for us and on our behalf and it has meant the world. Your tenacity to trust that God really was working all things for his and our good gave us hope even when that was hard to believe.
• I also want to say that God is insanely creative and he places EVERY relationship into our lives for some reason. Joy was just being obedient to what God had asked her to do and yet there was a providential relationship that changed the course of our lives because of her. Kristen has been one of God’s greatest blessings to me this past year and it all started with someone inviting us to dinner. So, be bold…invite people over and look at every moment as an opportunity because it may just be one.
• Finally, I want to say this…I have married the greatest man in the world. His wisdom and patience to wait for God’s best has been my strength and comfort in these days. I love you Stu!

*Here’s a little video of me telling Stu the night we got matched. (FYI, there is PDA:-)